Winter into Spring

April 19, 2019 / katiemjenks / Leave a comment

“The beautiful spring came; and when Nature resumes her loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive also.” -Harriet Ann Jacobs

It is already the middle of April. I can’t believe it. And I haven’t written in what feels like & sort of is, in for-ev-er. Needless to say, life has been insane. I feel like most people say that in any sort of season, but it truly has been a crazy ride.

So here I am, trying to get back on the horse. I feel like with April hitting, my heart is taking a turn with season. I feel like I am a flower still beneath the surface of the top layer of soil, tentative but ready to push through with my arms reaching skyward, my face turned toward the healing warmth of the sun. Ready to let it breath new life into my soul, my mind, my body, my heart. It’s been quite a season of winter, in so many ways, & I am aching with anticipation for the spring.

Not without the heaviness, not without the depth that the winter brings. I will carry it with me. Always.

It has pushed my roots so much deeper, so much farther down into the richness of who Christ is, how GOOD He ALWAYS is, how much I love Him & why. This winter season has tested me in more ways than I could ever imagine, but I am grateful. I am always grateful because gold only comes after the fire. I still think I’m in the fire, but I can see through to the end. After being ‘through so many things’ in my 31 years of life thus far, one beautiful thing I have learned is that I will make it. Keep my head up. Keep my heart clean. I will make it. AND IT’S SO MUCH BETTER BECAUSE OF IT. I am grateful for fire. I am grateful that when I get squeezed, (for the most part), what comes out of me is clean. And kind. And merciful. And trusting in the faithfulness of Jesus. Because HE IS GOOD. ALL THE TIME. In my rawness, He meets me. In my hurt & anger & ache, He meets me. He turns it into gold guys. He really does. I meet Him with my face on the floor in all of my human-ness & He’s there.

Going through fire shows you who you are.

I know who I am.

I choose mercy & forgiveness. I will choose love above all else any day of the week. Because that is Jesus. That is both justice & mercy. That is what the church, the body of Christ is called to do. To love well.

I want my legacy to be Jesus.

I want people to remember me simply as someone who loved well.

No mission statement, no written decree or code that I will save…. Blah blah.

Nope.

Just Jesus.

And so I sit here. My soul on fire as I can feel that glorious spring sunshine hitting the tops of my new leaves slowly pushing out of the soil. I’m grateful to be here.

“The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day He created Spring.” -Bernard Williams

“No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.” -Hal Borland

Cheers,

Katie.

Sebastian William turns ONE!

July 26, 2018 / katiemjenks / Leave a comment

“And she loved a little boy very, very much – even more than she loved herself.” -Shel Silverstein

Our baby boy is officially ONE! This last year of life has been such a gift. Having the presence of children in our daily lives brings so much laughter & joy & growing to Noah & I both as people & as parents. It is SO worth it. Adding Sebastian to our tribe has brought us into a better place in life. They say that children are gifts & it is true. Each of our children are gold. They are true treasure. And getting to watch our children grow together as siblings is just a delight. It’s love displayed. We are blessed. That’s for sure.

“What greater aspiration and challenge are there for a mother than the hope of raising a great son or daughter?” -Rose Kennedy

We celebrated Sebastian’s birthday on a sunny Saturday at our home. Noah & I decided on a fiesta theme with llama’s as the center point. I wanted something fun & bright & funky for his special day. So with that, I made adorable invitations (if I do say so myself), got them to our friends, family & neighbors, bought the raddest cactus cupcake toppers on amazon & voila, the party makings began. The week leading up to it I made more decorations & had assistance from my brother when I decided to attempt making traditional Mexican paper flags called papel picado. They took quite a while, but the end result was better than I was hoping for! They turned out great! The morning of the party I had reinforcements help with getting our taco bar ready, chilling the water & infusing it with fresh mint leaves, cucumbers & strawberries, hanging decorations, spreading mexican blankets across our yard, placing llama pinatas around the house & outside for decorations & keeping me calm. Just kidding. But really. Parties are great, but they are a bit stressful when you are a perfectionist like me. I am pleased to say that the party looked perfect & ended up being exactly what I was hoping for.

Our neighbors, friends & family arrived, people ate yummy tacos & raved about the cauliflower, socialized, the kids ran around outside & Sebastian was as content as could be. After eating, we passed out chocolate cupcakes, sang to the birthday boy (whose sisters blew out his candle) & we watched him eat his first “artificial” sweet ever. Thank goodness for boxed cake mix when you are on your third child man. After that, all the kiddos “helped” him open up his presents & then play with them. We now have lots of balls, trucks & books about trucks. That was a new experience for us as far as birthdays go! No princess books this time. After that, everyone was amazing & helped clean up & we then put the birthday boy down for his nap. It was a wrap. SUCH a great party. Such ideal weather, amazing decorations, yummy food, incredibly nice people & SO MUCH LOVE for the birthday boy. I couldn’t have asked for better.

With that, here is your very first birthday letter from me to you, my son.

Dearest Sebastian,

Oh how I love you. You are a dream come true Brother! And I can’t believe that you are ONE! This last year of life with you has been marvelous. It has been an adventure, full of life & laughter & keeping us on our toes. You are sweet, bold, full of joy, smart, funny, strong, kind, attentive, daring, sensitive & really really fun. Watching you grow & thrive & develop more & more into a little person this past year has been a delight. It never ceases to amaze me how beautiful our King is & how intentional & incredible He made life to be starting at the very beginning. I can truly say that I see Him in who you are & in the way you have grown since the day you were born a year ago. What a testament you are Sebastian to the goodness of God! Son, you are a treasure. You make my heart literally feel like it is expanding with radiating love for you inside my chest. I loved you from the second I knew you were growing inside my womb & I love you even more today. Getting to be your Mama is such an honor & delight. You make me into a better person. I love the relationship you have with your sisters; watching you play with them, hearing you talk to them, seeing how you all love each other with such tenderness & fierceness. I know you three could take on the world together because you love each other so well. Your name is so true, you are growing into a honorable protector & so much more than that. I also love seeing you with your Dada. He is the champion of your heart, you admire him & love him. He can calm you down with snuggles when no one else can & he makes you laugh with his whiskered kisses. You love being on his back in the backpack when we go on walks & you love playing “chase” with him while you crawl away as fast as you can. It’s the cutest. I also love the way you are with me. Your mama. I love that you love me with such fierceness. I love playing with you, I love breastfeeding you, I love how you hum & throw your blanket over your head while you’re nursing, I love how you push on everything with your feet, I love that if you could, you’d be in my arms as much as I’d let you. I love that your are like a little otter & love to grab toys & roll onto your back while you play with them, kicking your feet in the air. I love reading books to you, I love speaking blessings over you as I lay you in your crib at night while I caress your sweet head, I love how your “boy-ness” is coming out & the surprises that come with it, I love waking you up in the morning & snuggling with you to start my day. I love getting to be your Mama! Thank you for bringing me such joy. I am truly overwhelmed with gratefulness that you are mine & I am yours. I love you so much Sebastian. Happy 1st Birthday to you!

With all my heart,

Your Mama.

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“Son, you will outgrow my lap, but never my heart.” -Unknown

Cheers,

Katie.

My Motherhood Currently

May 24, 2018 / katiemjenks / Leave a comment

“Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease.” -Lisa Alther

Let’s talk about the last few weeks. To get perspective, it is May. It’s the end of the school year, which is the “end” of the year in our household with both Noah & I working in education. He is currently camping & hiking with his 8th graders in Yosemite (epic!) for 3 days & nights & I’m home with the kiddos. Also epic. 🙂 Anyhow, May is always crazy. We have basically run really hard with life in general since spring break back in March & we are doing our best to finish strong, keep our heads about water, not burn out. It’s a “take one day at a time” point in life & some days are “take one hour at a time”. Catch my drift? I know we’ve all been there. This is a predictable season for us, so we do our best to stay positive & keep our focus where it needs to be.

*My anecdotes do include pee & poop, so if you are not a fan, skip this. But it is funny.

To be real honest, Cabo being on the horizon is helping quite a bit! We (JUST Noah & I) are headed there in June, so our countdown is on. It’s gonna be bomb guys. Laying in the sun, reading a book uninterrupted, sleeping the whole night, showering whenever I want, swimming without worrying about our littles & their floaties, riding jet skies, swimming in the ocean, eating piles and piles of guacamole, drinking ice cold drinks with an umbrella, taking a sunset cruise, staring deeply into each other’s eyes & on & on. DREAMS COME TRUE GUYS. This is the vacation we would LOVE to take every single year. We are going to celebrate life & our 9 year anniversary, because why just wait till our big 10th anniversary?! Every year is significant, vacation is necessary & we want to do it so we are. Boom.

“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.” -Leo J. Burke

Ok, so back to my motherhood currently. What my life has been like the last few weeks. It’s comical. That’s why I figured I’d write about it. Two days ago the day started with us eating breakfast quickly, making lunches & packing to drive down & go blueberry picking in the valley. I did this last year for the first time & it was awesome! It was super hot, but still awesome. Coming home with pounds of fresh blueberries for pennies on the dollar is just rad. Except the hot part. Anyway, I was running around trying to get everything finished so we could get in the car on time & while I was in the back room I heard Eliana (my 5 year old) yelling about Brother (11 months). I threw down what I was doing to discover he had crawled outside to where she was feeding our dog Gypsy & Sebastian was shoving handfuls of the dog food into his mouth. Eliana was holding him by the diaper, panicking and yelling for me. I scooped the food out of his mouth, got upset that she had forgotten to close the door in the first place & brought them back inside. I sat him down & brought her into the other room to explain that Sebastian is SUPER fast & that we all need to be more careful about closing doors… & immediately I heard him grabbing dishes out of the open dishwasher so I ran to the kitchen, closed that, returned to our conversation, then had to jump up again to close the bathroom door before he started eating the used tissues in the garbage. It was a perfect example to Eliana that it’s not her fault that Brother is so fast & we ALL have to be aware & careful to take care of him in this crazy fast super speedy crawling stage he’s in. Anyway, I explained that if that happened again, she needed to scoop the DOG FOOD out of his mouth first so he wouldn’t choke, then keep him away from it. Holding onto his diaper while he shoved loads of dog food into his mouth wasn’t a good way of taking care of the situation. I laughed later. We went blueberry picking & it was super hot, Sebastian didn’t dig it, but we got some berries & came home later then planned but happy.

Yesterday, I had to drive 2 1/2 hours to Sacramento to pick up my mom from the airport. Back into the car we went. No dog food incidents. He decided to poop right when I buckled him in, so that was perfect timing. We got out a bit later then planned but no poop on the road so that was a win in my book. We got more than halfway there & all of us needed a pee break so we pulled into get donuts as a treat. Now, this is not a norm for us, so it was a true treat. I had us all squeeze into the small stall because the handicapped one was occupied so we could all take turns peeing. Have you ever done this? Doing it with an 11 month old makes it that much more interesting. Enough said. The girls each picked out a strawberry sprinkle donut, I got a plain glazed. We went to the car, got buckled up, I gave them each a bag with their donut to eat while I nursed Sebastian. They were content, I fed him then got him buckled into his carseat & we got back on the road. This stop made us late to get my mom, but she was super gracious. Another 10 minutes down the road I grabbed MY donut bag to eat from. It was a strawberry sprinkle donut. Cora had eaten my entire donut without saying anything. I don’t think she even realized. Strawberry sprinkle donuts are not my jam. Give me my plain glazed old fashioned man. So that was nice. I didn’t eat her donut. We picked up my mom, stopped at Fairytale Town in Sacramento for a bit to play, which was really fun & headed back home. About 30 miles from home, Sebastian had had enough. He wailed until we found a good place to pull over, Eliana had to pee on our portable potty, I fed him & changed him & he was good to go again. We finally made it home & it was great.

“You can be a mess and still be a good mom. We are allowed to be both.” -@katiebinghamsmith

A few weeks back, in the matter of 5 minutes, Sebastian was scooping handfuls of dirt out of one of my houseplants & eating said dirt silently until we discovered him. From there, he crawled into the bathroom, where the lid had been left up & was enjoying himself splashing in the toilet water. Once discovered again & moved, he proceeded to crawl all the way into our bedroom, where we found him again, sucking and chewing on a charging cord plugged into the wall. All in 5 minutes. OH the joys.

“Cleaning your house while the kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.” -Phyllis Diller

Last week, Sebastian pooped. Like REALLY pooped. My day started off with Cora, our almost 3 year old (who never pees the bed), waking up in a puddle of pee. On her pillow. She is the craziest sleeper. All of her bedding needed to be washed so that’s what I started with. Not that long after that was when he pooped. This is normal guys. I brought him up to his room to change him, the girls followed & wanted to be with us. I took off his diaper, he grabbed some poop, I moved his hand out the way. He then grabbed a toy with said hand. I removed the toy. Said hand went to mouth. I removed said hand. I moved the diaper, after his feet ended up in the poop too. I asked Eliana to throw it in the trash for me so as to avoid anyone else stepping/touching it. She threw it away & in the process got poop on her hands. I sent her to the bathroom to wash them. I managed to get him clean, the changing table clean, his face, feet, hands & toy clean. All while this was happening, Cora had gotten her stool out the bathroom to have a better vantage point of all of this & was playing with the dimmer switch on the light switch, up & down. Up & down. All while I was changing this poopy diaper. It was a glorious experience. Oh & I totally had poop all over my hands too. Cora didn’t. She was left unscathed. Minus my scolding eyes while she enjoyed her handcrafted light show & I couldn’t see what I was doing.

“Every day when you’re raising kids, you feel like you could cry or crack up and scream ‘This is ridiculous!’ because there’s so much nonsense, whether it’s what their saying to you or the fact that there’s avocado or poop on every surface.” -Kristen Bell

So that’s my life. Currently. I need to be clear though, you guys, I wouldn’t have this any other way. I am SO blessed. I LOVE where I am at in this motherhood thing. I love that I have the gift of 3 littles here earth side with me that I get to play with, nurture, teach, enjoy, laugh with, snuggle with, adventure with. This rocks. It is so hard, at least once a day there is something “hard”, I am exhausted, yes, I have to deal with poop & lots of laundry & all sorts of runny noses, etc., yes, but I am SO HAPPY. Even in MAY! Even in this insane season of life. I AM SO HAPPY. Getting to be home with my kiddos, getting to take them blueberry picking & hiking on the weekends while traversing bumpy roads in our minivan & leaving some of our bumper there on the way all in the name of adventure to celebrate motherhood & to pick wildflowers, this guys! THIS. It’s all so worth it. It’s amazing. AND there is Cabo. 🙂

Ok, there are definitely more anecdotes I could share, because motherhood/parenthood is full of them, but for now I’ll be done. I’m sure something else absolutely hilarious while happen as this day progresses. It keeps me on my toes.

“Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” -Ed Asner

So cheers to you, other mamas & papas out there! Cheers to you, I applaud all of your hard work that is mostly left unseen, I applaud your tenacity to parent your children well, to wipe those bottoms clean & give the best hugs to your littles that you can. I applaud you choosing to press on, even when you are in insane seasons of life, to keep your head up & your focus where it needs to be. You are not alone friend! You’ve got this mama. You’ve got this dada. It’s all about the little things, showing love in all the things we do. Let’s do it well. And hey, happy late Mother’s Day & early Father’s Day to all of you lovely people too.

Cheers,

Katie.

Eliana Marie turns FIVE!

April 9, 2018 / katiemjenks / 2 Comments

“Celebrate life. To truly live, celebrate each day of life. Let each day be a festival of joy.” -RVM

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I have a five year old! I can’t believe it. The last few weeks leading up to Eliana’s birthday I have spent a good portion of my time staring at her, taking her in, snuggling with her & wrapping my arms around her… trying to literally embrace this moment in time with her, my 5 year old daughter. As I sit reading her books or tickling her back, or walk up our stairs at night to the sight of her on her tiptoes in her undies brushing her teeth before bed, all of these things I want to lock away in my memory for the rest of my life. Her, right here, right now. She is just as much a dream come true today as she was the day we got to hold her at the hospital an hour after she was born. I, we, are so so blessed.

The night before her birthday, Noah & I blew up an entire pack of balloons & sneaked them all into her room for her to wake up to as a surprise. It was super cute when she came downstairs the next morning telling us all about the balloons & being confused as to how they got there in the first place. After that, as tradition goes, Noah took her in her jammies to go pick out a birthday doughnut. After they got back, they got to go eat their real breakfast at Momo & Papa’s house while Noah & I cleaned & decorated for the party.

For the last six months she has been telling our neighbors (who are are widows or widowers just to paint a picture in your mind) that they were all invited to her birthday. It’s been the cutest. Well, her birthday came two Thursdays ago on the 29th & we celebrated! This was a first for me with a child being old enough to specifically invite people to her party. Up until now we have invited full families over & so this ended up being a mix of lots of 4-6 year olds & a few close friends & families combined. She requested a “ballerina & prince” party, so I did my best & made sure to have lots of tutu skirts for the girls & swords for the boys. The weather was perfect, the grass green & the trees flowering, so it was wonderful to be outside in the sunshine watching all of the kiddos running around in skirts with swords using their imaginations without a care in the world. Oh, & we are currently building a fence around our entire property so there were piles of cement bags, fence boards & posts for the littles to play on as well, so that was fun. No splinters & lots of balance practice. It went well. We decorated with pink pom poms & happy birthday banners, had a few balloons & ate pizza, cuties, pretzels & strawberries along with her requested mini chocolate cupcakes with white frosting & lots of sprinkles. It was simple & great. She sat outside on a blanket & her (along with lots of help from all her friends, you know how it goes 😉 ) opened up sweet gifts & we all sang to her. Her favorite gift for sure was, & I should have known, a pack of gum from her friend Charlie. I now know what I am going to give every other five year old I know for their birthday: 5 one dollar bills & a pack of gum. (Thanks for the inspiration Jennie!) We had the party during lunch time so that everyone (including us) could get children down for their much needed naps after that much fun playing & eating sugar. For dinner that night, we had taco salad, Eliana’s current favorite, along with our traditional birthday lead cake. This is Noah’s specialty & this was one of his best yet! It’s a family recipe & we love it, especially with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream. She opened a few more gifts, we sang again, & she got to blow out her candles. It was a successful day of celebrating our amazing five year old!

The next day we had a special treat & got to Facetime with Eliana’s birthmama, birthgrandma & birthsister! It was wonderful getting to tell them about her birthday & for all of us to connect. It was a highlight for my heart & I know Eliana loved getting to see & talk with them. Adoption is SUCH an incredibly wonderful thing. We love that we have an open adoption & that we are all connected as a family! We have so much love for eachother & I know Eliana is growing up knowing that this is our normal & that it is special & beautiful.

“A simple celebration, a gathering of friends; here is wishing you great happiness, a joy that never ends.” -Zahid Abas

A huge thank you to all of our family & friends both near & far who celebrated with us! As per tradition, I write each of my kiddos a little love note on their birthday so here it goes, this is for you, Bug.

Dearest Eliana,

Oh how I love you. I can’t believe that you are five years old! I have been a parent now for 5 whole years & what a gift it has been. You are a dream come true. The heart that you have within you is so full of beauty! You can’t contain all of it, it spills out of your eyes, out of your mouth in the form of incredible laughter, out of your hands with the way you both create & with the way you embrace. You are full of LIGHT. You are full of JOY. You have made it evident to me how incredibly beautiful Jesus is. The way you present who He is to me & to the world around you is perfectly unique & absolutely beautiful. It is hard to resist the reality of heaven when you come into the room. The spirit within you sings out the glory of the King. You carry that power sweet girl. You have grown up so much this last year, you have an insatiable curiosity & desire to learn. You love to read books, use your imagination, dance, sing, laugh, run, paint, create, be with people & play. You are observant, you notice things, you have an incredible memory & you are attentive. You are sensitive & sweet, you have such a tender heart. You love to ask questions & tell jokes, you love to play with your sister & make your brother laugh. You are responsible & kind, you are gentle & polite. You are a blessing & not a burden, the head & not the tail. You are a leader, not a follower & you love others well. You love to snuggle & cuddle & hug & your love language is definitely physical touch. You are starting to read words & you are really good at rhyming. You love to wear dresses & skirts & your favorite flower clip. You love memorizing Bible verses & poems & if I would let you I think you would watercolor paint every single day. You love going on dates with Dada & helping both him & I whenever you possibly can. You love with such a fierceness. Thank you. You made me a Mama five years ago & I can’t imagine my life without you. I truly am the luckiest. Dada & I, we are the luckiest. Thank you for being exactly who you are, I love you to the moon & back a million trillion times. Happiest birthday to you Bug! You are FIVE wonderful years old. May this next year of your life be one of the absolute BEST yet.

With all my heart, your Mama.

“Live life when you have it. Life is a splendid gift- there is nothing small about it.” -Florence Nightingale

Cheers,

Katie.

On Grief

January 27, 2018 / katiemjenks / Leave a comment

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves, ebbing & flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, & sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” -Vicki Harrison

Grief is a weird thing. It manifests in different ways. It depends on the sort of situation that has caused the it, the season of life one is in, how emotional a place one is in, the atmosphere that surrounds a person going through it, etc. etc. etc. It is something that some people choose or prefer to walk through alone, which in my opinion (& because I tend to draw myself inward when I hurt) is not necessarily the best way to do this. Still. Others chose to do this bravely & open up sharing their rawness with the world around them, whether this be with one or many. Some have a hard time with quietness & need the world to know that they are hurting & so grieve loudly for the world to here. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to grieve. It’s a really hard thing that is personal for any person dealing with it. Nobody should judge another person for the way they go about this process, hurt is hard & we are human & we need to deal with it. I guess I’m writing this because I have been dealing with a wave of grief, this happens both randomly & timely as each year progresses. There are different things that stir it up for me. The other reason I am writing this is because I know there are people around me who are also dealing with the grieving process & I hurt for them as well.

The definition of GRIEF according to the dictionary is as follows:

-deep sorrow, especially that is caused by someone’s death.

–trouble or annoyance.

The word GRIEF is taken originally from the french word grever which means to burden.

I would definitely agree that to burden is an accurate way to describe the physical feeling of grief. It really does weigh down on you. It is draining & exhausting & at least for me, my heart physically feels like it is aching.

AND IT’S NOT BAD. Grief is OK. It is necessary. It is (sadly) part of every human’s journey through this life. It does in the end, make us stronger, I believe. I also think it makes us more compassionate, more empathetic to the world around us. These are good things. I know that even though grief never fully goes away, with its waves of old grief & new grief that comes, it grows me into someone better for the world around me.

“What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” -Helen Keller

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Currently, I am grieving the loss of our baby. Every January rolls around & leading up the the 24th I wait & grief & walk through our reality of our baby not being here. He would have turned 3 this month. January 24th was his due date. Instead, on July 17th, I went through labor, miscarried & lost our son at 13 weeks along in my pregnancy. It was one of the worst days of my life. So, each January, I ache. I also ache each July with the same waiting, reflecting & opening up of my heart & letting myself grieve our loss. We are also going to start celebrating his short life in my womb on July 17th each year with our family. We are going to celebrate that day as his birthday & remember that even though he is not here with us, we get to have eternity with him. That, my friends, is hope. That is the goodness that we wait for with joy, even though we walk on this earth with this sadness.

Grieving is a part of life. It’s a part of each of our stories. My personal journey of grief with losing our son, Tobias (the Lord is good, God is good) Kedrick (gift of splendor) Jenks is one that will be part of my life on this earth until the day I die. I look forward with great anticipation towards the beauty that is eternity for many reasons, but one of the most important to my heart is definitely getting to embrace our son. It will be a glorious moment. All of the sadness of this life, this breath of air, this quick visit on earth will pale in comparison with eternity. All will be made new. That, will be reality forever & ever & ever. I can’t even wrap my brain around it.

So for now, I will go on grieving, because it is necessary. Because it is hard. Because it will bring me that much closer to the day heaven becomes my home. I will grieve because it allows me to link arms with SO many other women around this world who have lost their babies too. I will be mad with them, I will hurt with them, I will encourage them to grieve in whatever way they need to. Losing a baby, losing a child, is not ok. There is nothing fine about it. That’s not the way it was designed, but sadly it is the way it is. So we grieve & we grow & we see goodness come at some point, in some way.

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, & of unspeakable love.” -Washington Irving

For me, each day I get to hold my 3 babies who are here on earth with us, I get to kiss them & snuggle them & spend our days together. I get to grieve with them for the loss of their brother & also remind them that heaven awaits. Death is not the end. Cora, our second, is our rainbow baby. She came after our loss of Tobias. If you haven’t heard that term before, it is to describe life after a loss. After the rain clouds, the storm, the loss, comes the rainbow. That is life. That is a gift. Every child is a gift. I am so grateful for ours here on earth & just as much for our little one already dancing with the King of Kings. I love that when we carry the hope of heaven, when we KNOW that that hope is real & true, we can go on each day in life. We can look forward. We can pick up our eyes & remember, even in our grief, that life is a gift, that it is precious & it is not guaranteed. Making each day be what it needs to be, in our sadness & in our joy. It’s all significant guys.

With that all being said, if you are in a place of hurt, a place of aching, I feel you. Today, my heart is heavy. My eyes are sad. I am still full of hope & I still find joy, but mostly, I am sad. And that is ok. I want to validate you if you are grieving. You aren’t alone friend. I tip my cap to you & I understand your sadness. We will get through this one day at a time & somehow will be better humans, more kind humans, to the people around us. Thank you for your rawness, for your honesty in hard times. The world needs more of that. I hope that my honesty with my grief has helped you. And now, lets move into tomorrow with hope in our hearts & BE in whatever part of our process we are in. Fully.

“You will lose someone you can’t live without, & your heart will be badly broken, & the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly – that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” -Anne Lamott

Cheers,

Katie.

P.S. All of the above photos are from one of our trips traveling abroad while I was pregnant with Tobias. I cherish that time greatly & all of the time we had with him.

2018 Goals & Prayers

January 16, 2018 / katiemjenks / 2 Comments

“The beginning is always today.” -Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

It is 2018! A new year, a new gift of time, the gift of refreshment & new beginnings. Hooray!

Looking back over my year of 2017, I can truly say that some beautiful things happened. If you read my last post which broke down our year I think it is pretty rad to see how many GOOD THINGS were woven into the threads of our daily life! We are blessed, friends, that’s without a doubt. 2017 was not a perfect year, it still held lots of hard days & moments that were full of tears & frustration, lots of moments with feeling raw. However, even on those days, beauty came. Grace came. Hope came. It showed up. And when hope arrives, it is a welcome breath of fresh air, a lifeline to grab onto & so we do! We get up, grateful for life abundant, even with the hard days & sadness that is unavoidable in this journey on earth. Hope arrives & we say YES. We say yes & THANK YOU JESUS. I am so grateful for the King of Heaven who scoops us up on the hard days & shows us that beauty really does come from the ashes. I don’t know what life would be like without Him, without hope, without looking up & seeing beauty. It is so redemptive, so necessary!

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“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

With that, I wanted to reflect back on my goals & prayers for the year of 2017 & how it all panned out. My theme for the year was INTENTIONALITY. I can say that that theme carried throughout the year, in all areas of my life. It called me to a higher standard of using my time wisely & operating with intention in my relationships, with the work of my hands, with my prayer life, with the way I had conversations with my kiddos & husband, etc. It was important to me, so I made sure to focus on it. To live with that as a foundation of my days. Another goal of mine was to read through the entire Bible in the calendar year again. I did not do this. I made it through 3/4, but didn’t complete this goal. To be honest, this was hard for me. It was hard because I am a goal oriented person & because I was able to do this the year before. I started to beat myself up about this in about October until I brought it before the Lord. I felt a release & freedom once I laid it at His feet. After that happened, I continued to read the Word with joy, even though my goal was not met. What I love about the Word is that it is food, it brings life. It isn’t designed to be something we trudge through or simply put on a list to accomplish. It is SO MUCH more than that! I am grateful for all of the hours I did spend getting fed, they are never wasted. Another goal for me was to speak encouragement daily over my tribe, which I was consistent with & want to continue to be. I also wanted to do yoga weekly & eat more raw foods, which I also consistently did & went beyond that with my physical fitness both while I was pregnant & after. I am proud of myself for taking care of my body & being consistent with fitness & eating raw foods. I feel great, I know that my body is healthy & I am so grateful that I was capable of working out all the way until Sebastian was born. That level of fitness helped me after I took a 2 month break to recover from giving birth by getting back into shape quickly. I am strong & I am so glad that I am healthy! Smiling more was another goal & I’m not sure I totally succeeded at that either. I know that I smiled, but I definitely could have smiled even more. I was successful with doing preschool consistently with Eliana & Cora & we are enjoying getting back into our second semester this last week! I also wanted to have a healthy pregnancy, delivery & baby in 2017 which I did! Sebastian was definitely the top highlight of our year. We moved into our new home & made it a haven, which was another goal. I am continuing to do this, even being in it for 10 months now, it is a work in progress. I also wanted to spend more time playing with my littles. I can happily say that I did prioritize this! At the beginning of our school year, I felt like the Lord gave me the word PLAY for our school year. That has been foundational in all of our school days & beyond. Making date nights a habit & going on a babymoon were two goals that we didn’t fully accomplish. We did date, but not enough. This year that is a top priority for us. We also chose to forgo a babymoon, because we opted to save our money to go towards a trip to Cabo San Lucas this summer. Woo Woo! We are thrilled. The last two goals I had for 2017 were to journal & to learn to knit. I don’t think I touched my journal once. So that was a fail. BUT- I did learn to knit!! I am very proud of myself for accomplishing this goal. As I sit here typing this, my knitting bag is sitting right next to me with an almost finished hat for Noah in it. I successfully knit an infinity scarf for my girls to share, a newborn hat to put on Sebastian at the hospital & now this hat for Noah! It may not seem like much, but I have spend hours & hours & have grown into a knitter. Even the students at the school where I sub have watched my skills improve as the year went on! Yes, I am that teacher who pulls out her knitting while her students are doing independent work. I even had some students start bringing their own knitting or crocheting gear & join me during free time. It was fun. I have to give a shout out to my amazing friend Aimee who taught me with her master skills. Thank you friend! My verse for 2017 was Philippians 4:8, which could truly be a life verse for any & all people. It is excellent.

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When I reflect back on 2017, there are countless things to be thankful for. Just a few that I want to share are as follows:

-Growing our tribe (yay SEBASTIAN!)

-Moving into our new home

-Health for our family (& celebrating being 5 years cancer free!)

-Cora potty training so easily

-Jobs we love

-Food on the table

-Learning to knit

-Family trips & adventures

-Lots of walks & hikes

-Dance parties

-Laughter

-Yoga, working out, staying fit

-The funny things my kids say

-Our cozy wood burning stove

-Staying stress free

-Family worship nights

-Having my sister & her family home for 5 months

-Watching my kids learn & grow & thrive

-Deepening friendships

-Preschool with the girls

-The unrelenting love of the Father

-And so so so so so much more.

“Celebrate what you want to see more of.” -Tom Peters

Now for:

2018 Goals & Prayers

-Smile more.

-Stay unoffended, keep my heart clean & light.

-Have better posture.

-Read my Bible as my daily bread.

-Be in more pictures with my family.

-(Re)Learn how to sew.

-Date my husband.

-Read the Little House on the Prairie series.

-Waste less.

-Travel nationally & internationally.

-Have monthly individual time (dates) with my kiddos.

-Maintain my healthy habits with nutrition & physical activity.

-Have a garden.

-Deepening peace, love, grace, kindness & understanding.

Word/Theme for 2018

RIVER OF LIFE

Verse for 2018

“But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in His unfailing love.” -Psalms 33:18

“Your success & happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, & your joy & you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.” -Helen Keller

Cheers,

Katie.

Merriest Christmas & Happiest New Year from the Jenks Tribe

December 28, 2017 / katiemjenks / Leave a comment

Processed with VSCO with f2 preset Merry Christmas & Happy New Year dear ones!

The time has come once again, to celebrate as we reflect on this year of 2017 & look ahead with bright eyes towards this next year of 2018. It has been such a BEAUTIFUL year! We are so grateful for all that our little tribe has gotten to experience as we have grown & continued to watch the glorious King of Heaven bring light & life to all around us. We hope that you have also tasted beauty & embraced happiness as you have journeyed through your year!

The beginning of our year brought us snow & rain, & therefore lots of bundling up & playing outside along with tea drinking & book reading inside. It also brought us lots of time with family. One wonderful thing that the winter season brings is more time together inside playing & snuggling. We are big fans. Noah & Katie’s dad finished up our incredible fixer-upper home remodel, & on February 1^st, we moved into our NEW HOME! It is gorgeous, you guys. A dream come true for our family! Noah has continued to lead worship at our church once a month & our family worship nights are a regular part of our evening routines. On March 15^th, Katie was declared 5 YEARS CANCER FREE! We have been doing a happy dance for 5 plus years & we are nowhere near stopping! On March 29^th, Eliana Marie turned 4! We celebrated with family & friends at a park, she got a giant balloon & requested chocolate cupcakes with strawberries so that’s just what we had. It was simple & perfect.

The spring brought us more rain & exploring, we enjoyed frequenting parks (swing are Cora’s favorite), visiting local trails for hikes, playing in local places like Columbia & our favorite, Pinecrest, & enjoying daily walks in our amazing neighborhood. Katie continued to make our Jenks Abode into a haven for our family with baby numero 3 on the way & Noah coached spring track. The girls played outside in our backyard & did lots of painting & crafts. We played music together as a family each night (usually including at least one rendition of Old McDonald prior to worship) & took the girls blueberry picking. On May 30^th, Cora Kinsey turned 2! We celebrated with our family & some close friends at our home with a moon & star theme because Cora loves the sky! It was a sweet time. We also were able to visit with Eliana’s birth family & had the honor & joy of meeting her biological grandma for the first time! We love adoption, it such a beautiful thing.

June brought us the end of the school year for Noah with his 7^th & 8^th graders as well as the end of our first year of preschool with the girls. It also brought us one of the best gifts in the whole world. On June 20^th at 2:16pm, SEBASTIAN WILLIAM JENKS was born! He weighed 8lbs .09oz & stretched out at 20in long. He came earth side after being flipped the right direction 5 times, multiple bellybands & being induced. It was an intense 22 hour labor & a natural delivery, bringing us our first SON! We are so grateful he is a part of our family! The remainder of the summer called for rest for our little tribe along with trips to Santa Cruz, Oregon & of course lots of time up at our family cabin in Pinecrest.

The fall has brought us more time settling in as a family of 5, Katie started her second year of homeschool with the girls & has continued to sub at the high school & Noah began his 5^THYEAR of teaching! Woot Woot! We have taken trips to Texas, San Diego, Monterey & surprised the girls with a visit to Disneyland. As the days have gotten progressively colder, we have enjoyed daily fires in our wood stove, walks to collect the beautiful fall leaves around our neighborhood & enjoyed baking together in the kitchen. By the time you read this letter, our children will be 4 ½, 2 ½, and almost 6 months old! We are absolutely smitten with them & the way our life is FULL of snuggles & our house is covered in books, princess dresses, collections of rocks, & pinecones. We are blessed beyond measure with a roof over our heads, food on our table, jobs that we love, children that we adore, & a God who loves us relentlessly, even when we don’t deserve it. Day in & day out we sing praises for the beautiful life we have been given, with all of its ups & downs because He is worthy of it all! We are so grateful that HE IS GOOD & has given us the ability & privilege to love people well, to BE KIND, & to bring light & life to those around us.

With that, CHEERS to you & yours! We are so thankful for you & the role you play in our life, whether it is near or far. May you find more reasons to REJOICE this Christmas season than you can count, so that you can continue with your thanks all year long. May your heart be light & your home cozy. May you be surrounded with people that you love & may you love others well. Be kind. Love well. Bring life. We’ve got this! Lets bring light to this world during this holiday season & all year long. May your 2018 be sweet & full of ABUNDANT JOY. We love you. Happy Christmas!

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Love,

Noah, Katie, Eliana, Cora & Sebastian Jenks

Faithfulness

September 29, 2017 / katiemjenks / Leave a comment

“We are not here to be successful, we are here to be faithful.” -Mother Teresa

This has been a theme in my life, especially in my married life. I feel like it consistently comes up in conversations between Noah & I as we think about how our life has been, how it is right now & it comforts us with our future. His faithfulness in our lives is etched in like a marble memorial. It is set in stone, never changing. Without Jesus, we would be a hot mess. Don’t get me wrong, I am a hot mess all on my own some days, but boy… I would be SO much worse without Jesus. Noah & I both would be. In our marriage, these last 8 1/2 years, faithfulness has carried us, washed over us & sealed us with a grounded foundation knowing that we WILL make it. That we are taken care of. Day in, day out, with whatever life throws at us, we know His faithfulness is never failing.

Here’s a laundry list of faithfulness in our life:

-Traveling the world

-Asking for specific jobs & getting them every time

-Asking for specific cars & getting them every time

-Buying our first home

-Being healed from cancer

-Adopting Eliana & having a beautiful relationship with her birth family

-Being able to get pregnant even after cancer treatments

-Traveling to Europe

-Giving birth to Cora

-Selling our first home for more than double

-Buying our second home in our desired neighborhood

-Traveling with our kiddos & my parents internationally

-Giving birth to Sebastian

-Continued health for each member of our tribe

-Food on our table

-Time together as a family every summer & at holidays (Thank you for being a teacher Noah!)

I could go on & on. I actually keep a list in my phone of things that I am grateful for, so in a moment when my heart squeezes with gratitude I can write it down to remember. All of those things remind me of His faithfulness & how blessed I am. It’s a wonderful thing to acknowledge the fact that being alive is a gift & that it is FULL of GOOD things. I am so grateful!

The definition of faithfulness according to the dictionary is as follows: the quality of being faithful; fidelity. As much as I can go on forever about the faithfulness of our God, in the same breath it is a theme for myself as well. I want to have the QUALITY of being faithful, I want to be that way for myself & the people around me. I want to treat ALL of the things that I participate in with faithfulness. I want to do my job as a parent, as a spouse, as a teacher, as a reader, as an athlete, as a cook, as a traveler, as an artist, as a researcher, as a homeowner, as a human being, etc., – faithfully. I want to be faithful in all of those things & more. I want faithfulness to MARK my life. I want to be known by it.

On days when I am worn out (which is a lot lately due to a 3 month old who isn’t sleeping through the night yet), I know that it is beneficial for my spirit to be renewed by the beauty that finds its way into each & every nook & cranny of my life. Part of the way that I do that is to reflect on His faithfulness & how it carries me. It also draws me into a deeper desire to exemplify that for those around me- for my husband, for my kiddos, for myself. I want to be faithful. I want to say something & follow through. I want to manifest faithfulness in a tangible way for my littles, so they know that they are carried in our family as well as carried by our beautiful King. I want them to grow up & have faithfulness be a theme of their lives.

“Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.” -Mother Teresa

It’s a great thing having it be a testament in my own life, in my story. I can’t edit it out without LITERALLY changing the outcome of where we are now. If it weren’t for His faithfulness, I would not be here today, I am confident of that. So faithfulness brings me hope, brings me peace, & pushes me to reach higher, go deeper, be better. Because I know. I know that I know that I know that He is faithful & always will be. And because He has already won, I win. It’s awesome.

“Kindness & faithfulness keep a king safe, through kindness his throne is made secure.” -King Solomon

So I’m speaking to myself- today, as I sit here feeling a bit worn out, I will take some deep restorative breaths & reflect. I will look at today & know that it has already been taken care of & that whatever comes tomorrow or the next day will be fine because He already knows & his faithfulness abounds. His grace is sufficient in my weakness & I will rejoice evermore in my partnership with Him. I am grateful & I will CHOOSE to be faithful.

“Faithfulness lives where love is stronger than instinct.” -Paul Carvel

P.S. All these photos are from a family (my mom + my sister + her 3 girls + me + my 3 kiddos) field trip we took to Columbia State Park earlier this week. 🙂

Cheers,

Katie.

Sebastian William

September 8, 2017 / katiemjenks / Leave a comment

“The very first moment I beheld him, my heart was irrevocably gone.” -Jane Austen

HE is here! We had a son & his name is Sebastian William. He is such a gift.

I wanted to reflect on his birth & share his story, so here we go.

On Monday, June 19th, I had my 39+ week check up & little one decided to be head up for the 4TH TIME. So my incredible doctor flipped baby right there in the office & sent me over to the birth center to be induced & monitor baby to make sure the flipping (for the 4th time) didn’t cause distress & that baby would stay head down. We sent out a text to our praying friends to pray with us that baby WOULD JUST STAY HEAD DOWN! They wrapped me with 2 different belly braces to “help” baby stay in position & induced me with a low dosage of cytotec. Low & behold, just a few hours later with my labor starting slowly, baby decided to bring head back up towards my ribs. My doctor flipped baby for the 5TH & FINAL time (Praise the Lord!) & baby stayed head down which allowed me to have a natural vaginal delivery! The 5 times of flipping baby was a hospital record & my doctor should have a trophy in his office for his mad baby flipping skills. We are so grateful & appreciate him so much!

Monday afternoon & evening progressed slowly, my mom & sister came to join us & they broke my water that evening hoping to get things to move faster. This didn’t pan out like I had expected, after my delivery of Cora, this was a WHOLE different experience. We had lots of laughs as I scooted across the floor in our room with a towel under my feet as my water continued to take its sweet time “breaking”. This continued all through the night, I was awake walking back & forth trying to get my labor to progress, Noah, my mom & sister were able to sleep off & on. I was tired by the early hours of the morning & by then was having steady contractions two minutes apart. When they checked me, however, I was only at a 2, which is disheartening when you start feeling exhausted & are starting to feel more pain with the steady contractions. At that point, they started me on pitocin & increased the level consistently, which made my pain level increase as my contractions progressively intensified.

At about 10am, my doula arrived & by then I was having back labor. She was INCREDIBLE. My team of people in that room were INCREDIBLE. They prayed, we had worship music playing, the nurses & my doctor were full of kindness & encouragement. I labored in several positions & by 11am I couldn’t stand up during the contractions anymore. I sat on the birthing ball at the bottom corner of my bed & rested my head on the end of the bed. My doula sat behind me for HOURS & applied the perfect amount of pressure to my low back throughout each contraction while my husband & sister took turns squeezing my hands throughout each as well. These two things paired together were beautiful & essential for me.

The REALLY rad thing about my labor occurred during the hours of intensity with those growing contractions. I hadn’t taken any pain meds & didn’t throughout the whole labor & delivery which was my goal & I feel SO great being able to say that I did it. So with that, my pain level was high. I vomited everything in my system I think 12 times & I had a hard time sipping water. BUT THEN- Sitting there on that ball, with my head laying facedown on that bed…In between each contraction I had a moment of rest. TRUE rest. I literally felt like I left my body each time, it was a truly supernatural, amazing, BEAUTIFUL experience. In the midst of that pain, I felt the Lord take me out of the current moment & wrap me in His arms. I even FELL ASLEEP a few times! It felt like I was seeing everything in watercolors, like I was floating through the room. It was an out of body experience as I floated with the sounds of music & intercession in that place. I FELT Him wrap himself around me & it was incredible. I’ve had very few experiences that were that tangible with His presence & oh my goodness, it was beautiful. It was worth every one of those contractions. It was just Him & I. I felt so loved, so worth His attention. It was like nothing else in the whole world mattered & He was just there in that room with me. Gosh guys, I hope you get to experience something like this for yourselves in its own form, just you & Him some day! I am excited to know that every day is new & that I will get to experience His presence like that again sometime! Maybe even today! It is always life changing. There is NOTHING, nothing sweeter than His presence.

By the time I felt the need to push, they got me back up on the bed & checked. I was only dialated to a 7! This was at 2pm. My doctor said to call him in an hour & walked out of the room. At this point, I was laying sideways holding onto my doula’s hands as she helped me breathe rhythmically to help me not push until the right time. Within 10 minutes, I was at a 10 & the nurses ran to call my doctor back! I started pushing & 10 minutes later delivered him at 2:16pm! They held up our SON & with giant smiles told us we had a BOY! He was finally earthside. Noah laid his forehead on mine & cried tears of joy as they laid him on my chest. It was a beautiful moment. Noah was able to cut the cord & baby Sebastian William snuggled up to me & latched on easily within the next 10 minutes or so. He weighed 8lbs .09oz & stretched out at 20in long! We counted his fingers & toes, rubbed his sweet head & kissed him SO many times. There is absolutely nothing on earth that compares with giving birth & holding that baby close to your heart for the first time. Goodness. It takes my breath away just thinking about it.

That was that! We rested & bonded with our new sweet little one for the next two nights & days in the hospital while they monitored my recovery. Sebastian was born on the summer solstice, which is super duper rad because I am born on the winter solstice! He was also born during a heat wave of 106 degree temperatures that whole week, so staying in the hospital was a welcome respite from that heat. We had family come visit & meet the wee one & we slept & ate & just stared at Sebastian’s perfect little face. When we headed home, his first evening was spent being held under our AC blower because it was SO stinkin hot. I won’t ever forget that. He is now about 2 1/2 months old & still isn’t the biggest fan of heat. I can understand why! It has been a blisteringly hot summer.

So here we are now. Seb, SebiCakes, Sebastian, Baby Bastian, Bash, Little Squish, is growing & changing every day! It is crazy how fast they grow! He sleeps & eats well, he loves to smile & coo, he is just starting to laugh. At his 2 month check up, his pediatrician said he is a perfect baby, right on target for height & weight, responsive & adorable. He is our little joy! Our girls are totally smitten with him, as are we. It seriously took almost 2 months for us to switch our vocabulary to include “he” & “him”. It is exciting having a boy! He has already flown on a airplane halfway across the country (which he ROCKED, by the way), dipped his toes in a mountain lake, taken a nap under towering pine trees, road tripped for 12+ hours, has been on lots of family walks & been smothered with countless kisses. I would dare to say, that his life has been pretty rad so far. FULL of love & laughter & life. The way it should be. 🙂

I am one blessed Mama.

“Little boy, you remind me how so much depends on days made of now.” -Alison McGhee

Cheers,

Katie.

On days that feel like a thousand years

March 24, 2017 / katiemjenks / Leave a comment

“God already knows what we are made of, but perhaps He wants us to learn what we’re made of. I think that we would all agree that we learn more from our tough times than from our easy times.” -John Bytheway

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Wow.

Today has been another one of those days. This week has been weird. Two days ago was one that qualified as all sorts of bad stuff hitting the fan. The first part of the day was great & in the afternoon everything just broke loose. Including the skies. I was subbing a class at the end of the school day during which a supersized storm hit. We had to make sure we didn’t let students leave the room because of lightning strikes not far from campus & the torrential rain & hail that fell in a matter of 30 minutes was INSANITY. Further up the hill we had a tornado (A TORNADO!!) which is not something that happens in the sierra foothills, touch down & rip trees apart. It was just crazy & that was just the beginning of a nerve-fried rest of the day. On my way home I passed an accident that I could have been part of if I’d left the school 5 minutes earlier & then I passed a tow truck pulling a car up from a cliff that it had apparently gone over in the rain. Once I got home we found out that our house had FLOODED. Not throughout the entire downstairs, but all the way through the living room, entry way, closet & den. Basically across the whole front of the house we had a stream of water pouring in, soaking multiple rugs, my record collection, shoes, all the stuff in the closet, etc., etc., etc. There was a lovely 6 inch long earthworm that had managed to get swept into the house waiting to greet us along with the rest of the chaos. After that, it was just little thing after little thing, but when you are that fried from all of the “bigger” things, those things feel gargantuan. We hung up rugs in front of our brand new wood burning stove with industrial fans blowing on them & Cora almost stuck her fingers inside but Noah saw & stopped her right in the knick of time. No pun intended. After lots of other little things including our ear-piercing smoke alarm going off while I took our burned brussel sprouts out of the oven, we decided to just go outside. In doing so we let the girls puddle jump & play in the mud & piles of hail & in the process they became wet & cold & more upset. So we went inside in tears & headed up to read & go to bed. After everything, Noah & I both said it felt like we had just lived through a whole week, not just a few hours. Oh my goodness, if only it could have been a Friday.

With all that being said, I slept GREAT that night. Ha. I was so exhausted from the stress of those few hours. It gives you perspective on people who undergo stress like that as part of their jobs each & everyday. I applaud you, if that is your situation, because I could not handle it. I was NOT designed for high intensity.

Anyway, the next afternoon was WONDERFUL. It was a complete opposite experience of the day before. All of us were full of peace, tired, but full of peace. The girls both took extra long naps after doing really well during our school time in the morning. I was able to do a great workout, read my Bible, sip tea & watch Andy Griffith with Noah. We had a delicious & easy dinner & I even managed to make a few loaves of zucchini bread. The girls had their baths & we got to enjoy our nightly worship time as a family. It was a true gift after the day before.

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Today has been a bit more like Tuesday, but my nerves don’t feel raw yet. What I have realized as the last few days have unfolded is that life is nuts sometimes. It’s not always predictable or easy. But ultimately, it’s still our decision to pick which pair of glasses we are going to look through at the world around us & see it how it is, either with all the bad, or with the good thrown in too. What is wonderful in getting to look back & see the good things that come out of flooded houses & almost chopped off fingers. It makes you laugh (a little) & makes you grateful. I am grateful to know that the rest of our house didn’t flood, that Cora still has all of her fingers intact, that our smoke alarm works INCREDIBLY well, that we had food to eat & even burned brussel sprouts can taste good. I am grateful that we can go outside whenever we choose & that our girls can laugh & get soaking wet while puddle jumping & that we can walk down our lovely street with neighbors & chat about life. We REALLY are blessed friends. Truly.

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“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” -Confucius

As for today, I am claiming that I WILL see the good. I will not let circumstances rob me of my joy. I will smile; I will laugh; I will rejoice. Because life is quite the ride & today I want to remember as one that I chose to conquer with hope & peace.

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If you are having one of those days or weeks, take heart. I’m right here too friend. And when in doubt, bake some zucchini bread & watch Andy Griffith. It DOES MAGIC. Remember it’s your choice which glasses you put on to see today with. Here’s to today!

“If we could all just laugh at ourselves, in hard times or good times, it would be an incredible world.” -Jena Malone

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Cheers,

Katie.

the jenks tribe

celebrating the goodness in our every day living

My story

Winter into Spring

Sebastian William turns ONE!

My Motherhood Currently

Eliana Marie turns FIVE!

On Grief

2018 Goals & Prayers

Merriest Christmas & Happiest New Year from the Jenks Tribe

Faithfulness

Sebastian William

On days that feel like a thousand years